< Anniversary >

Today is our 3 YEAR anniversary! Seems like such a small number, it feels longer than that. Or maybe that is how long 3 years feels. Ha. Jachen is my love, my best friend and my partner. He is THE best guy I have ever met and I am sooo happy I held out til I met him.

Wedding video, HERE.

>>>M

< Jachen, The 27 Year Old >

Someone's BIRTHDAY is today!! Tonight we are going with Jachen's dad Gian to a steak restaurant...Jachen sure loves steak. Originally we thought we would be in the States for his birthday so I had a whole surprise day planned out for him...well, since we are clearly still in Switzerland we are putting those plans on hold. We will celebrate his birthday for reals when we get to the States.

Here are some things you may not know about Jachen...

>his middle name is Curdin{pronounced Cure-dean}
>he is smart and a great Engineer
>his favorite color is green
>he is a very nice and caring person
>he loves sweets, has a major sweet tooth
>he doesn't follow sports{one of the things I like about him most}
>he likes building things and figuring out how things work
>he is super easy going
>he has great taste in music
>THIS is one of his favorite songs...and a favorite album
>he was born two years after his wife, me
>he talks a LOT during movies, it's comical how much...see HERE
>when he makes a commitment to someone, he owns up to it
>he likes to own and listen to movie scores
>he doesn't like tap water that much, makes him gag after drinking "too much", but he does love mineral water
>he doesn't like outie belly buttons, he thinks they are gross
>he likes comics, Star Trek, video games, and used to dabble in anime
>he sings along to songs even when he doesn't know the words
>he was born in Basel, Switzerland
>he has a nice singing voice
>he has beautiful green eyes
>he is game for just about anything...even dressup...see HERE
>usually when he tries too hard to be funny he isn't, but when he doesn't try he can be really funny
>his mission in England for 2 years for the LDS church was a huge turning point in his life
>he has only been speaking fluent English for 5 years and he has a great American accent, you can hardly tell he is Swiss
>he loves America and can't wait to live there
>he loves swimming and being in the water
>he doesn't like being in large crowds of people
>he has driven manual all his life, but now prefers automatic
>he has this funny way of dancing that is just..."so jachen" see HERE
>he wants to have fun, be happy and do good
>he is fun to be around and will make you feel comfortable and wanted
>he is one of a kind

I think I will keep him around! Happy Birthday Jachenator!
>>>M

< Second Wedding Anniversary >

Married this Jachen of mine two years ago today. TWO YEARS!! Happiness.

We are off to spend a great day together!
>>>M

< LOVE Download >

What another download Monica? Yes, yes. Clearly it doesn't need to be Valentine's Day to print out these. But it is, so download. Previous download, here.

5x7 TODAY IS THE DAY FOR LOVE//BLACK|RED
5x7 LOVING YOU IS EASY//BLACK|RED

Enjoy!
>>>M

< On Love >

This post has been whirling around my brain, so I hope I can get it out right.

In an English class in college our final paper was 10 pages...{i think, something big like that}, but I scored an awesome teacher so that paper could be written about any one topic and all the 10 pages HAD to do was stay on topic. Nothing else mattered. It was awesome. He just wanted us to experience getting our thinking out and writing it down. My paper was on 'love'. At that point I felt like I knew quite a bit...or at least enough to write 10 pages worth on...not just on relationships, but on 'love' itself and any aspect of it I felt like writing about. Now that I am married and have felt and deal with REAL love on a daily basis, I know there is much much more to talk about on the subject of love.

I wanted to share some of the things about love and relationships I have learned in my little life of love. I think we learn from movies that love has to be dramatic, messy, complicated and hard. I don't think it does. Even when it feels hard, it doesn't have to be.

ON DATING
I was never one of those girls who had a boyfriend all the time...GOOD DANG THING. I never wanted to be one of those girls. Sure I wanted boyfriends, but I was always very happy with the relationships I was having with the friends/roommates in my life. I had a lot of time to develop WHO I was as a person on my own as well as learned so much from friends/roommates. I learned a great lesson about boys after I graduated high school and that lesson helped me immensely throughout college...

THE LESSON//ON BEING DUMPED
My first boyfriend was at the very end of senior year of high school...we dated for about 8 months when out of nowhere he dumped me. I was crushed. But worst of all angry because of the lies and cheating that took place that I found out about after. So not only was I dumped by my first boyfriend who I loved, but now I was a girl who had been cheated on. I was hurt for a few weeks. BUT one day, it hit me...literally this thought popped in my head and I was from then on fine..."I am better off and there is someone else better for me". I was immediately grateful that there was someone better for me out there waiting. I realized I deserved better. I knew it. I may have developed some trust issues after, but more importantly this realization worked for the rest of my dating life. If there was EVER a boy that it didn't work out with, that didn't end up liking me back....I thought back on that thought and though mildly sad it wasn't working out with that boy...I was happy to know there WAS someone else.

Not everyone gets to learn this lesson so WHAM BAM as I learned it...I always felt lucky that I understood there was someone better for me. Also, years later, I realize that being dumped by my first boyfriend was THE best thing that could have happened to me at that time...I am sure I wouldn't have broken up with him and he was not not not not the best person for me. I also wouldn't have had the amazing life experiences I have had today, if I was tied to him or any other boy early on.

BACK TO DATING
So throughout college there would be boys...some real good looking boys in my life. Not ONE of the "relationships" I had with those boys was "all his doing". Some girls think the boys have to make all the first moves, ask the girl out first, flirt first, etc etc. NO NO. Confidence and taking action is key when you like a boy. So key. My philosophy is..."the worst that can happen is he doesn't like you back. And then at least you know." Isn't not knowing if a boy likes you THE WORST? You don't know if he is shy or just not interested. Or just oblivious. I think it is way way worse not knowing than trying and getting rejected. Some guys don't even realize they could be interested in you at first, it may take YOU, the girl, to show them. The first day I met Jachen there was another American girl there with me...long story short...he liked her first. He chose her first. But it was okay, I didn't think much of it at the time...I was just thinking this would be fun to be friends with him. But after being rejected by her, and already had started a friendship with me...Jachen and my chats online turned into a date which then turned into more dates. So, be present. If you like a guy, even if you just think he is cute, don't be so shy that at second glance he still doesn't know who you are. If that makes sense.

There are many many other things I can say on dating, but I think what it first comes down to is the confidence that I mentioned. Being open to making the first move, showing guys that you are there and you like them. For me, it's also important that you be open, comfortable, honest, frank and well confident with that person. Don't change who you are, you can develop new interests because of him, but as soon as it becomes a lie that you like something...you are not being yourself. Don't be one of those dumb girls who lets the man control them and not let you speak your mind. The best date is the one that lets you be you AND the one that likes that you. If you can do these things, and first have this great foundation for a relationship, then personalities and how you connect will come next--because if you don't have a real foundation first, it won't matter how cool he is, or how good looking he is...it just won't work out.

ON BECOMING MORE SERIOUS
I think Jachen and I got lucky. Our friendship, then like for one another, then love for one another happened pretty fast...not in a bad way, but in a "it needed to happen because I was leaving the country so thank you Heavenly Father for how it worked out" way. I don't think 2weeks had passed when Jachen told me he loved me. He said it on a whim. And Jachen is the loving kind of guy and what he really meant was "I like you and care about you" but to him that translated as love, but regardless..he  said it. And to just about anyone on the planet knows, saying "i love you" is a pretty big deal. I was NEVER one of those people who could say "I love you" to someone and not really mean it...even with the girls at girls camp who always seemed to be able to go around saying I love you to people...well that was not for me. When he said it, I told him I needed time to see if I thought the same. The next couple days, I realized, wait...I do love him. And somehow I had without any real grandeur reason to. It was the first time I was able to love someone so selflessly and so naturally. It really was simple, "i love you too." A few days later while he was driving me home, which was a long distance and it was very sweet of him to not make me take a train all the way home, I looked at him and for the first time I thought to myself "I can see myself with him for a long time". At that point our relationship was pretty simple...no extraordinary dates, not amazing gifts, no flowers, not much "courting"...but somehow our sweet simple love and connection grew.

When I left Switzerland, we decided to "date" long distance. I have never been one to be afraid of dating long distance and frankly I don't get what the big drama about it is. If you like or LOVE a guy...make it work! Wah wah, ya it sucks big time, but get over it and get 'er done. HOWEVER...there was a point when I was moved away that I thought to myself "this is not the type of guy who I thought I would marry".{meaning like he wasn't hip or stylish that kinda dumb thing} And for a little while that bothered me. THEN I realized that that wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Jachen and MOSTLY not fair to myself to make the decision about a guy because I "pictured" another type of guy. Dumb. I realized I can't base reality and who I love off of fake high expectations. I could be cheating myself out of a really great life with someone.

So. When Jachen came a few months later to spend a month with me and my family that following summer, we decided that this trip would be the deciding factor if we should marry or not. We both knew there was no point in carrying on a long distance relationship, or any relationship, if marriage wasn't a for real desire. And you know that can be kind of nerve racking that first physical remeeting...are we still going to feel the same? Is it going to be awkward? AHH. Those thoughts went through both our heads before I picked him up at the airport. Well, it WASN'T awkward and it still felt the same! That first day even we knew it still felt right to be together and we ended up having literally THE best month of our relationship. We still talk about how that was the best time.

So that month we decided to get our version of "promise rings". And I think when he left back to Switzerland at that point we weren't sure when we would be getting engaged...I always had in my head that I would date someone for a year before getting engaged. A few weeks after he left, while talking to two of my girlfriends, they helped me realize that if I knew I would be marrying him and that if I loved him, WHY wait? It hit me, and I realized, for myself, that that was right. Why wait? A couple months later, in October, I flew back to Switzerland, knowing I would be proposed to. Which was 8 months after we started dating, so really not that far off. :) AND we were married the following April...WHICH was over a year from when we started dating. So I didn't sacrifice my principles too much. I knew Jachen, I knew how he felt about me. This was the first guy I never had trust issues with. He always made it very clear how he felt about me. I knew this is the guy I want to be happy in life with and this is the guy I want to struggle in life with.

Jachen is sweet, friendly, caring, smart, open, comfortable, makes me feel safe, fun, funny when he doesn't try, dorky, laid back, loving, ready to help, spiritual, righteous, understands me, willing to improve and better himself, makes me a better person, gives the best hugs and is the perfect match for me.

I am happy I let myself let the right guy come along, that I didn't waste so much of my single life having lots of boyfriends. Happy that I didn't settle. That I not only acted on my heart, but my mind and made it make sense in my mind. Happy that I was able to become me so that I can be much much better with him.

I don't believe in the phrase "all you need is love"...because in marriage, you do need more than love. Obviously love needs to be the foundation, but you need to also be smart and chose someone good for you, you and the rest of your forever.

And you need someone who will take you to Paris. :)

Happy Valentine's Day! If you are single, let it happen. Take responsiblity. And don't worry.
>>>M

< Valentine's Day Download >

I wanted to make you all a little Valentine's Day download.

Download any or all 5x7 prints 1|2|3|4 If you don't want it as a 5x7...you can crop it to what you need.
You can print onto a card, a little love note or print it out and frame it. Enjoy!
>>>M

***

I sure love him. BFLF.

BFLF=best friends literally forever
>>>M

< The Sunday Jachey >

 

Somebody is loving his blue today.
And I am loving him in all that blue.

ps. i miss his long hair.
>>>M

< That's One Funny Jachen >

 

Jachen {pronounced Ya-chen} is like no other person you will ever meet. He is truly his very own person and everything he does is so..."jachen". I have never met someone remotely like him. Which means he is full of quirks...one of which is excessive talking through a movie...

On Sunday the Jachenator {as me and my family call him} and I were talking about watching a scary movie this Halloween at a friends house and Jachen{who is a scary movie wimp} said how he combats his scary movie nerves is by talking a lot during the movie. Then I made the comment that you talk ALL THE TIME during ANY movie {or show}...not just scary ones. For reals this kid talks a lot during a movie...luckily it doesn't annoy me too much, mostly I just think it's funny.

If you don't believe me read the below...
While we were watching the movie Unbreakable{this might be a movie spoiler alert} I secretly typed everything he said while watching the movie. Excessive, huh? but really really funny. SO read it.

Jachen...
that means probably you're unbreakable

so one guy is unbreakable and the other guy is all the time breaking

look at those striped pants

that was like the biggest badoom ever

he's going back into the memory huh?

shes been with someone

or not

experience

look at his car, all the pillows

i think he was trying to kill the security guard, no?

don't break anythinggg

you shouldnt go down there

your going to break yourself

gross

ohh, break an arm and a leg for it. isnt't that a saying, break an arm and a leg?

oh no, i think he put on some more

that's dangerous

he's like, i just lifted 500

wow

no way

this is a superhero movie, why didn't you tell me{in a joking manor}

a ton

a car!

what the what

stop it, please, i don't want you to get hurt

400 lbs

whoa, that's almost a car

ohh that's her

as if he knew where to go, hmm?

it's dangerous

i did, i guessed. it's a talent, i can guess husbands names

what was that?

he's the supa hero

uhoh

oh a fight at school

him!

wait, what happened?

looks like san francisco 

don't shoot him, not in the heart

don't shoot him in the heart, shoot him in the leg or something

what's 50, just police? security? oh the swat

$2.50

and the other call was elijah saying you are a super hero, there you go

that they will hire him?

it's cool that they changed the microphone at the end

can you hear me david?

that's exactly where he sat

that's sad about the small kid that sat in front of him

this is him going back to the car

that totally looks like him young

oh wow

obviously she has a red dress, shes the only one

so cool how everyone has grey clothes on except those guys

oh my goodness

question is what are you going to do about it? are you going to beat him up?

still, like what are you goign to do about it?

oh, he is going to follow him and see if the other guy's still alive.

why doesn't he just call the cops?

like the reaper man

whew a lot of tension right now {as he pats his chest}

water

do something, do something, do something! {each time said louder}

where's the orange guy?

ohh gross

the question is, is he going to kill him or bring him down

she's like whoa, what's going on

crazy though, to see these visions of bad things that happen to all sorts of people

he's like whoa, what's going on

it was only on a wee bit

haha he's such a secret keeper

i would tell you if i was a super hero

ahh so cute that my husband says cute things like that during a movie, I need to tell everyone {said in a high pitch voice as if i was saying it cus he thought i was making a facebook status or something when really i was typing all this up}

always this chamber music in the background

is this going to be scary? is there going to be a really bad man in the end? please tell me

this is so cool

oh he finds out that he caused all those accidents

ohh this is crazy Monica

mr glass, wow

crazy

{when it was over}

that was good

i did not know all these years that it was about that. 

this is realllly good! 

SERIOUSLY makes me crack UP every time I read this. And this is pretty much how all our movie watching goes. Love that Jachen.

>>>M

|| Happy Birthday Jachen! ||

Happy Birthday to my now 26 year old Jachen! I love his birthday, I enjoy celebrating his birthday more than my own...this kid deserves spoiling. Today we are driving the Nylands to the airport, sad, and spending the afternoon in Zurich. Yesterday we celebrated his birthday with the Nylands at Lake Walensee while we celebrated the 4th of July. More on that later.

I took this video of him dancing to the end credits of Footloose back in November and have been saving it to share on his birthday. :) He is dancing in all seriousness here. That's my Jachen!

|| Hello Pretty J Heart Ring ||

Look who joined the wedding ring party!

The lovely J {for Jachen} heart ring is added to my stack to mark our one year anniversary. I love me a stack of rings. The aquamarine given when Jachen proposed, the little heart ring on our wedding day and now the J on our anniversary. Do you notice how shiny and clean my stone is? Yup, just got it cleaned yesterday. The jeweler said I could just use a toothbrush and dish soap, I'll believe it when I try it. I forgot how sparkly it was though, it was sure dirty underneath the stone. Also, it turns out these rings are great photo models. Thanks Jachen for the ring.

|| What I Have Learned About Marriage ||

Today, April 23rd, a year ago I married this boy of mine.

When I think back to our wedding day it is hard to believe it was a full year ago. Not that it feels like it happened yesterday, but that I just can't believe a whole year really has passed. Like most experiences and timing in life, to think a year has passed feels both real and unreal. We have been through A LOT together this year so the length of time does feel very real. Clearly a year is not long enough to make me any sort of marriage expert, not even of our own marriage, but I have learned a lot. The first few months of being married I literally thought to myself on several occasions "I need some sort of book telling me if I am doing things right". Meaning, how I would react to things I wanted to know if I was the only one reacting this way or was this a normal newlywed wife reaction. I like to think it is a little of both...normalcy + my {dramatic} reactions. Well, honestly I was going through some level of depression the first several months of marriage so that REALLY didn't help things. To clarify, I was not depressed about being married or my choice in husband...but because I was living in Switzerland. On top of everything new in my life, I was placed in a land which I don't really fully get along with. I was quite off and on in a bad funk for many many months which also quite often I would direct that funk at my husband. Luckily, Jachen is amazing and never took it personal if I was crying, feeling sad, feeling lonely or super annoyed at anything he did. Also luckily I was able to grow very close to Jachen through it all and see how much he truly loves me and cares for me. He truly is my match. 

 So, here are some things I learned about marriage...not that they are NEW ideas... 

1. Everyone has a different first year experience. I have heard several people say the first year of marriage for them was a breeze and the best year for them. I have learned this is not true for everyone, because it was not true for us. While the marriage aspect and relationship aspect has been great, we have had a really rough year. Probably the hardest year of my life for many reasons. However much I was hoping for a "breezy" experience, that's just not how our first year went. 

2. Don't compare to other relationships. Sometimes I caught myself thinking about other relationships I wanted ours to be like, which can be a fine thing to do...it's fine to see something and want it to be a part of your life...but to not let it give you any negative thoughts about your own is the tricky part. 

3. A pretty big one...don't move to Switzerland. This is something I learned too late...hah. I fully support people moving to another country, but I would suggest not to do it your first year of marriage. This has been the hardest aspect of this year is being integrated into a country, luckily I had been here before we married, where I don't speak the language and which has a way of changing very much so my daily life. For others this could have been an easier transition, but for me it was for sure not. For many many reasons, our stay here has been harder than we thought...and not just for me for Jachen as well. Also, when you live in a place knowing you will leave the place it makes it very hard to "build roots". We both just feel so ready to be in the States where we can fully start living our marriage life and start having a family...we feel very temporary here. If that makes sense. Switzerland has been quite the experience, and not all bad, but living here for me has been a big hardship. 

4. I learned to remember, to constantly try to remember that it's just the first year and habits aren't formed yet and things aren't set in stone. Not only referring to Jachen and what habits I wish he had or didn't have, but also for myself. I am so set in my ways even though in my head some things I wish I wasn't so set on, but knowing I have time to perfect things is nice to know. Not everything has to be "the way it will always be" the first year. 

5. Try not to have your own expectations for your spouse. This has been a pretty important one to learn and implement. I think it's safe to say that women in general have certain expectations for their husbands which can be a good thing, but it's also important to think of your spouse, who they are and what are realistic expectations for them. Those other things you/I "expect" are not valid or important and that you/I should let those thoughts dissolve. Even when I was first dating Jachen I would think to myself "oh he doesn't do this, or he isn't like this and why doesn't he like this" I had a feeling of expecting him to be a certain way...once I realized that is what I was doing and that it was ridiculous, I stopped. 

6. Being married is such a learning process. DAILY. 

7. Patience, I have learned a LOT about patience and it is great to try and be more patient. I am now living with and depending on another person who has their own way of doing things and in that opens up a lot of times where you can practice patience. :) 

8. Don't go to sleep upset/angry/majorly annoyed at your spouse. Jachen is very good at keeping this rule, there are some times when I just really want to go to sleep mad...but he won't let me and I fully appreciate that. 

9. This relates to the above...don't let a disagreement or argument be unfinished. Always come to a result, always come to the point of understanding each other and both equally feeling you have come to a resolve. We don't like to leave disagreements hanging. Jachen grew up seeing arguments not handled well and bad communication lead to divorce and so he makes it very important in our relationship that we handle things right and always end up loving each other more at the end and not the opposite. 

10. I learned it's okay to have heated discussions, it's okay to get angry and annoyed. But while doing so stay close and like I said above end on a good loving note. Clearly it's not either of our favorite thing to be annoyed or mad at each other about something, but that we are okay in our marriage if we are. Luckily there hasn't ever been an argument that didn't bring us closer together. 

11. Along the lines of the above, know when to stop a disagreement before it becomes "a thing". This is one I have learned and have tried to implement. That though arguments happen, it's also good to avoid them.

12. I learned Jachen can be annoying. I am annoying too. I learned I am going to be annoyed, but to try and quickly not letting it really bother me.

13. Know your spouse makes silly mistakes. I make silly mistakes too. We both are not perfect. 

14. I have learned it is amazing to have a partner, a best friend and a person to always be with and talk to. THAT is the best.

15. I have learned that we have so much in common, yet are such different people too. 

16. To always ask for hugs and kisses when you need them and to always "say I love you". To not ever leave an "i love you" not said. 

17. I have learned it is really great to feel 100% comfortable and open with another human being. 

18. Jachen and I were "together" for a year before we were married, but much of that was spent in different continents. Though it was great, seriously great, to have so much talking/communication{cus that is vital in a relationship} we have made up for lost time and have spent this past year pretty inseparable. It has been important for both of us to use this first year together not constantly apart. We know in future married years this won't be as easy, so we are getting it in as much as we can.

19. I learned the love I had for him a year ago is now NOTHING compared to how much I love him now. And I know that will just keep increasing. 

20. I learned it is really really great to have a techy husband. It was always something I wanted in a man...a man who knew how to do man stuff as well as how to do computer stuff etc. And I was right, it is sure nice to have a husband that knows how to do it all. 

21. Jachen is one GREAT husband and I feel 100% happy with my choice. I feel so happy that he chose me too.

It will be interesting to see what this upcoming 2nd year of marriage will bring, but whatever it brings I am happy I have Jachen on my side.

|| One Year Ago This Weekend ||

Married a year, woot!
Tomorrow, you can read about what I have learned this past year about marriage.

More of our wedding HERE.